Sadly, people like who you describe are just not emotionally able to make wise decisions - and from some of what you describe, he may end up being more of a headache than not. No matter how long u been sober, an addiction is an addiction. Thomas called 911 to report she killed someone. The relationship doesnt sound healthy at all. Of course you deserve some cuddling and affection, but if he kisses you on the forehead, proclaims his love and rolls over, he might want to cool off and sleep. And while I was initially happy to have a guy head-over-heels for me, it's just becoming oppressive. I know that it should not bother me as much as it does, and I dont know how to stop.
We've been together almost a year now. Once I understood all the games I play in relationships and how many of my strange anxious feeling manifested themselves, I started to correct any internal issues I had. He also gets a little pouty if I go shopping with my daughter or a friend -- anything that doesn't include him. He needed space and I became more clingy. However, this is one of the best ways to cross the line, going from loving to smothering. After 30+ yrs we reconnected and been together 4 yrs now.
It's not up to you to maintain his sobriety-it's all on him. Boyfriend here - we see each other a couple times during the week and then usually spend the weekend together as well. I feel like my boyfriend of 7 months is smothering me. Expecting another to compromise that on behalf of your lack thereof is selfish and somewhat pathetic. You need to tell him that he's not acting like a man. Here are three tips for handling your suffocating boyfriend: Choose your words and timing wisely, and avoid critical language.
Smothering is a sign of subtle insecurity. It is essential that you communicate that this is something you need for yourself in order to be a happy and healthy girlfriend. Your partner should be the conduit to you opening yourself up and giving everything you have to the person. Give him the space needed to prove himself. Resist the urge to spend the day texting your stream of consciousness. The difference between love and affection is that love gives.
When you are giddy with love for someone new, the trick is to continue to operate as normal, which means you should not always be available. But then again she calls me and tells me how much she misses being with me right now, or that she was waiting for my call. He also gets a little pouty if I go shopping with my daughter or a friend -- anything that doesn't include him. I've been single for 9 years and I'm very independent. And a while back, I made a post about just that because of the same behavior I noticed in a friend's girlfriend who has a history of drug addiction. If you want to know how to love someone without smothering them excessively, keep these tips in mind.
It works for us though because we both like it. I really want him to give us a try and I understand what I did smothering and all and omg I will never do that again. That doesn't mean I'm ignorant of the chances of relapse in any addiction. He holds my hand while i drive, at the mall, he hugs me all the time. As you seek distance and pull away, it is likely he will smoother you more, viewing his smothering as an expression of his love for you. Sorry to have to break it to you and possibly others but, clingy isn't unusual in anyone, being insecure is very much normal these days. The vast majority of men do not cheat.
In order for a relationship to work, both people need to be able to have their own lives. Only 3 or 4 percent cheated in any given year. Maybe cutting the cord with this man in the long term would be a good thing for him and you if you feel that he is overbearing. Smothering and suffocation easily destroy love, whereas healthy boundaries and a balance of individuality and togetherness expand love. Do you realize just how shaky this arrangement could turn out to be in the long run? I am not going to change myself. You smother someone with affection because you crave for their affection, you want their attention, or probably because you may want to help them with their troubles, or you may want to protect them.
Love is definitely there in our relationship but I feel less prioritized. Thoughts on how to approach this issue, without completely pushing him away? It's to keep them from drinking. If you don't express your need to spend time without him, you will end up resenting him because he is smothering you. Soon I just felt her drifting away from me and I would try even harder to talk to her instead of giving her her space… I became jealous and paranoid about everything and she was eventually so turned off that when I finally saw her she wanted to break up with me. On the other hand, spend too much time together and you could be neglecting other parts of your emotional and psychological development as a couple. Such suffocating behavior will completely negate any efforts he makes to charge his batteries and only harden him further to your attempts to be around him.