The guy is probably keeping his options open, very open. The last and most obvious sign is what his friends say. I recall meeting a wonderful man right after I broke off my engagement. My life isn't situated enough to sustain the relationship, I don't have the time, I'm not in the mindset that would allow me to give a partner the version of me I'd like to be, etc. Also, if you have issues you are not going to respond to the right guy. Refuse to buy into the programming that says you want too much or expect too much or are never going to find someone who accepts the too muchness part of you.
Then he asked me out again as we were both unsure of our feelings. This article was written by Clayton Olson from and was legally licensed through the publisher network. They need a therapist or a life coach. I love him but I am willing to not be in that situation of uncertainty. I am living in limbo land - constantly vacillating between waiting for him to realize how fantastic I am? If he is successful and smart, then he probably knows how to get what he wants.
Fabulous post Patricia and Brad - thank you for your honest insights. I hope that you, and all of us in this type of difficult trying time, find inner peace and strength. He was attractive, successful, engaging, and chivalrous. The key here is for you to find out first, Ezi. I wish I had been ready, but I was not. It might be hard to absorb this idea at first, but it is the truth. Never ask where it's going, never invite him anywhere and keep dating until he asks you to be exclusive.
Is this guy the life of the party, go with the flow type? People have to grieve the loss of a marriage, and that takes time. When he talks about his goals, does he take action? Not for the real thing, anyway. Three cases that illustrate this point. Move on and create space in your heart, create space in your life so that the right guy who is going to be excited to be in a relationship with you can come in. It's not what he's doing but what he's not doing that starts to get to you. But you have to accept risk if you want to date.
He made the effort to pursue you in the beginning but then he stopped. All of this to fill his own need. When he sets a time to meet, is he usually on time? I felt good, even though my heart said he may not want a friendship much less a relationship with me. I'm so terribly hurt that he didn't call me. He needs a little more confidence before he can be with someone like you. You have a good connection so you start to wonder how to make him see you — truly see you. It goes out of their head as quickly as it came in.
Yes, you both get along great and you shared some moments together talking and meeting up, but the reality is that he is not ready for anything today and by the sounds of it you are unsure of wanting one as well. For this guy, it means he wants all the fun parts of a relationship, without the hard parts. But in the end - you don't need to ask him - you'll know cos he'll show you through his actions whether he's invested, confused or just along for a fun ride for as long as it lasts. I only wish those with such hearts have the courage to think about the others they are dating too. I never could, but i tried, much to the sad dwindling of my self esteem which was low to begin with and why i was settling! When you find the right person you want them around all the time.
All guys can get defensive at times but when a guy is mostly defensive this demonstrates a level of insecurity and close-mindedness that can easily destroy the relationship. He was married to his high school sweetheart for 23 years, then immediately went into another relationship and then when that relationship ended, began a relationship with me. If he is a popular guy and his friends love him, it means that he is probably a good person. Is he actually trying to tell you something else? The Guy perspective is an interesting one Honeypie! However, when we dated, I was irrationally afraid that my ex was driving by, or peering in windows. If a guy is not ready for a serious relationship, it does not make him a bad guy. But don't continue wasting your time with this guy.
If being Option B does not sound appealing to you, feel free to bail. So i did ask him what we were and he said he just wants to keep dating and is not ready for anything serious, but hes not seeing anyone else. How about you appeared to lead her on and dropped her like a lead balloon last time round? If he is not a player, he probably wants to settle down. He told you he was not ready for a relationship. Fast forward to current, he is calling me daily and almost panicky that I may be seeing someone else. You being one of those options.