Unless it means giving up his , heavy on the Grey Poupon. Why should you be careful when it's raining cats and dogs? Because it hurts when they boil their nipples. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. I keep seeing spinning insects! Top 20 Beano jokes of all time revealed as 2,000 kids pick their favourites; Thousands of youngsters name their Top 20 favourite gags in the comic. Perhaps it isn't just the way he tells 'em: A team of researchers believe they have identified the 50 best one-liners. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. We have listed the entire Top 50 one-liners below, but for quickfire comedians in a hurry here are the top three: 3.
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour. What do you call a tiger at the North Pole? This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.
She got locked in the grocery store and starved to death. She carried her little joke books around and loved to make people laugh. How are women like linoleum floors? I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Both wiggle when you eat them.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? What did one broke hooker say to the other? Don't worry, there's a bug going round. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. He forgot to wrap his whopper. What do you call a nanny with breast implants? Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster 37. Turns out, rumors of the death of sitcoms has been greatly exaggerated. I mean my anxiety is through the roof but record times.
Why would anyone want to make a blonde joke? He came back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees; apparently she stood him up! In fact, you delivered a few posts worth of them. Her favorite joke was the one in the image above. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When he realizes his hypocrisy, he decides to make a change… but after the sandwich. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Looking for more corny classics? I backed a horse last week at ten to one. What do you call an incestuous nephew? Comedian Tim Vine smashed the world record for most jokes told in an hour with 499, beating the previous record of 362.
Be advised, the roast can get very dirty, but this gallery is for an all-ages audience, so don't expect to find Jeffrey Ross' thoughts on Bea Arthur's anatomy. So, I asked you all on my Facebook page for your Best. What happens when an egg hears a joke? Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. He's great at saying the worst things about people but also making sure everyone has dinner, parties together, and stays friends. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray. That to me is a good day of blogging.
I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother. What's black and white, black and white, black and white? They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly? Internet is probably the best place to find the best jokes to tell your friends, and what we like to do here at Just Something is to find the funniest things from the most remote corners of the web and give you your daily laugh. It came in at quarter past four. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger. A quarter-century after his death comedy hero Tommy Cooper makes a strong showing in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay, Lee Evans and Canadian comic Stuart Francis.
She was wearing massive gloves. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same? Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you. How do you make a tissue dance? You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out! Retrieved Feb 28 2019 from Byline: Ruki Sayid No kidding, that really was the favourite joke of seven to 12-year-olds in a poll. What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. So here is the list of those that are, in our opinion some really funny jokes 1.